David Niven

“The only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping and showing off his shortcomings.”

“I make two movies a year to take care of the butcher and the baker and the school fees. Then I try to write, but it's not that easy. Acting is what's easy.”

“I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.”

“You can count on Errol Flynn, he'll always let you down.”

“Going to war was the only unselfish thing I have ever done for humanity.”

“Keep the circus going inside you, keep it going, don't take anything too seriously, it'll all work out in the end.”

“I have a face that is a cross between two pounds of halibut and an explosion in an old clothes closet.”

“Happy people are those who use a lower threshold in order to label an event positive.”

“I see my purpose in life as making the world a happier place to be in .”

“Old age has got to start creeping up on me one day soon, and frankly I'm very scared. I don't want to be old. I've always felt so young. And I want to stay that way.”

“Malta is a sod of a place.”

“Max, for some people there are no victories, just alternate forms of losing.”