Danny DeVito

“People come into your lives who you have a good time with, and time goes by and you still have a good time with them and you do stupid stuff with them. To me, that's life.”

“My parents worked their tails off, but we weren't the poorest people in town. Some people I went to school with, you could tell they were dirt poor.”

“I've been to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It's a tower, and it's leaning. You look at it, but nothing happens, so then you look for someplace to get a sandwich.”

“What Tim does is, he calls me and sends me the script. And then he sends me a drawing, an illustration of his image of me as the character. It's so great.”

“We did 'Erin Brockovich', we did 'Man on the Moon', we did 'Living Out Loud', but now I'm going to keep going.”

“I'm always studying and I've been doing it for a long time now.”

“I'm shooting in Brooklyn, we've got all kinds of crap going on, and I'm all alone now in a big hotel suite that you can't believe the size of it and a thing sticks in my foot and I just think it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.”

“I am self-centred. I just adore myself.”

“Most men somewhere in their psyche are still dragging women around by their hair. It's terrible. I have two daughters, but even before my kids were born I always thought that it was terrible.”

“So, you pick this stuff here and this stuff there and then you see things in certain ways and you start visualizing and thank God I get the chance to do this. It's really the greatest thing in the whole wide world.”

“It's just an ice bucket with a bottle in it. The two flute glasses are little tray. I got to shut the curtains. I'm in my boxer shorts and shirt. I'm going to take a bath and go to bed. But I want to shut the blinds so it's really dark in the room.”

“The son has always felt like he was a footnote in one of the stories the father tells. The father is an amazing storyteller and one of the tales that he tells is how he met his wife.”

“Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons, I've got em 'cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.”

“It's a first for me. It's my first nude scene.”

“I'll watch Ricky Gervais in anything he does. The guy's hilarious.”

“There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull: How do you hang on to someone who won't stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won't go?”

“You have to give people permission to laugh. That's why they would always cut to the banana peel in the Laurel and Hardy movies.”

“After you've lived with somebody for 11 years, what's a guy in a robe reading from a book going to change?”

“I developed that for a long time. I also developed 'Sugar Sweet Science' at New Line and that didn't happen. That was a boxing movie. And between all that there were a couple of other things.”

“I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone.”