A biography for Cristela Alonzohasn’t been written yet.
“I can't tell a story about a working-class family on a premium channel that you have to pay to get.”
“Two brothers and a sister, my niece, my nephew... we're a very small group. We're very close, very tight-knit. We spend every holiday weekend together.”
“Because I grew up in McAllen, we would watch Televisa a lot.”
“My goal has always been to just kind of show how my family, we might be a different culture, but we're completely like everybody else.”
“Whatever you want to do with your life, you really got to want it. And if you want it, and you work hard, it will happen.”
“A lot of my material was based on my family.”
“If I'm laughing, you know I'm either very happy or very sad. I cope with things with jokes.”
“I understand a lot of celebrities lose weight because they have the opportunity to get in shape and become healthier, but when you get so polished, you can't tell the story of a blue-collar family anymore.”
“I couldn't afford therapy, so I just watched 'Frasier.' Season 4 was a breakthrough.”
“The first eight years of my life, we lived in an abandoned diner - we were basically squatters.”
“I'm not trying to represent the whole Latino community. There are too many different cultures, and Latinos will always say, 'My family doesn't do that.'”
“My family didn't have money, and I think it made me fearless. I'm willing to try everything and not be afraid because what's the worst that can be happen? It might not work out, but I can't be worse off than when I was a kid.”
“There aren't any concrete steps to becoming a comic.”
“My mom ending up passing away, and I got really depressed and didn't have money for therapy, and so I started doing standup to cope with my mom's death.”