Clement Freud

“Breakfast is a notoriously difficult meal to serve with a flourish.”

“I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men.”

“Congealed fat is pretty much the same, irrespective of the delicacy around which it is concealed.”

“If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.”