Claire LaZebnik

“He can’t ground her if he’s already killed her,” I pointed out when Juliana quoted this to me. “Well, he can, but it wouldn’t have the same impact.”

“No one's family is normal. Normalcy is a lie invented by advertising agencies to make the rest of us feel inferior.”

“Well I'm not going to hope that you get hurt, but if you do, remember that you're my damsel in distress, and no one is allowed to carry you.""I don't remember signing a contract.""All the more reason to promise me now.""What if you're not around when I get hurt?""Send word, I`ll come running.""How big an injury does it have to be? Because sometimes I do this thing when I stand up too quickly and my ankle kind of twists a little---""Sounds serious. You don't want to put any weight on that. I`d better carry you the next time that happens.""What if I skin my knee?""I`ll carry you.""Charley horse?""I`ll carry you.""Chipped toenail?""Not worth taking a risk. I`ll carry you.”

“I just called you corny and said you were wearing a green dress. That's, like, the least flirtatious thing anyone's ever”