Chuck Klosterman

“Nothing can be appreciated in a vacuum.”

“...but the future is a teenage crackhead who makes shit up as he goes along.”

“The desire to be cool is—ultimately—the desire to be rescued.”

“When exactly did every housewife in America become a whore?”

“If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus.”

“I grew up on a farm, and we didn't have cable and only limited radio stations, so I wasn't inundated with culture the way people in other parts of the country were. But I was really interested in it.”

“History is defined by people who don’t really understand what they are defining.”

“Anybody who says they are a good liar obviously is not, because any legitimately savvy liar would always insist they're honest about everything.”

“I once loved a girl who almost loved me, but not as much as she loved John Cusack.”

“It's nice to think that the weirdos get to decide what matters about the past, since it's the weirdos who care the most.”

“I've been asked about this constantly, and I compare it to how if you're walking down the street and some schizo guy comes up to you and vomits on you: You wouldn't be hurt by that, you'd just think it's weird.”

“We assume that all statements must be mild inversions of the truth, because it's too weird to imagine people who aren't casually lying, pretty much all the time.”

“I’ve had the great pleasure of meeting Newt Gingrich and having a chat with the fellow on a staircase,” ex–Sex Pistols vocalist John Lydon once told Rolling Stone. “I found him completely dishonest and totally likable, because he doesn’t care.”

“Book writing is a little different because, in my case, my editor is a year younger than me and basically has the same sensibility as me.”

“I love the way music inside a car makes you feel invisible; if you play the stereo at max volume, it's almost like the other people can't see into your vehicle. It tints your windows, somehow.”

“Real people are actively trying to live like fake people, so real people are no less fake. Every comparison becomes impractical. This is why the impractical has become totally acceptable; impracticality almost seems cool.”

“It might sound chauvinistic, but there is a sad reality in rock music: Bands who depend on support from females inevitably crash and burn.”

“There are two ways to look at life. The first view is that nothing stays the same and that nothing is inherently connected, and that the only driving force in anyone's life is entropy. The second is that everything pretty much stays the same (more or less) and that everything is completely connected, even if we don't realize it.”

“And the quality all these reasonable failures share is an inability to accept that the statue quo is temporary.”

“Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.”