Christy Leigh Stewart

“Do you ever feel like we are the universe’s date to a pig party? Love, The Human Race”

“This semester has born in me the flame of hope to one day become a leader in the modern feminist movement. I can and will be the force that blows new life into it, giving a face and name to associate with instead of those women now who’s names I don’t know because they weren’t listed on Wikipedia.”

“A novel is no different than graffiti in a bathroom stall, it's just more pretentious.”

“I hallowed out my Bible to put another, smaller Bible inside.”

“He’s a scientist. He’s never cried. He flips through Googled image searches of burn victims while he touches himself.”

“Humor, drama, romance, whatever genre of entertainment you create or consume is only effective if it is challenging to your sensibilities. When the sexuality of seeing a woman’s ankles became trumped by her calf, society changed. When the calf was later trumped by a woman offering shots of alcohol from her vagina on Rock of Love, society changed again. My hope for this world is that we can soon run out of shocking body parts and can finally see the humor in our ætheric bodies.”

“I think men think about their penises as much as women think about molestation.”

“I’m going to punch words in your ear holes.”

“Does anyone else day dream about what it would be like if specific age groups just dropped dead all across the world?”

“If women ruled the world there would be no wars. But, we all would have been aborted.”

“I’ve seen the first three Terminator movies in succession more times in my life than I have shaved my legs.”

“Every concept of reality is all in our head, belief is what makes truth.”

“The wider you spread your fingers apart while clapping is equal to the amount of retarded you look while clapping.”

“The concept of virginity is a social construct. If you’re wondering if my commercial value, self-respect, and/or quality of my immortal soul has been affected by things that have gone in or out of my vagina the answer is no.”

“Even Azathoth is bored of this tune.”