Christopher Voss

“What you want to do is put people in a position where they feel connected enough to you that they're willing to collaborate with you; they're willing to show you the things that they were scared to tell you about before.”

“As a negotiator, you should strive for a reputation of being fair. Your reputation precedes you. Let it precede you in a way that paves success.”

“The most dangerous negotiation is the one you don't know you're in.”

“In my years as the FBI's lead international kidnapping negotiator, I learned an important fundamental lesson: Hostage negotiation is often nothing more than a business transaction.”

“Salary negotiations are particularly important because people are testing you as both a co-worker and an ambassador. They really don't want you to be a pushover, and they don't want you to be a jerk.”

“You're supposed to have a passionate purpose as a CEO.”

“People who are lying are, understandably, more worried about being believed, so they work harder - too hard, as it were - at being believable.”

“What I really think of myself as is a person who's great at negotiation coaching and consulting.”

“There are a lot of negotiators that really will give in on a deal because being understood is more important than getting what they want. And there's a particular type in particular, the assertive negotiator: being understood is actually more important to them than actually making the deal.”

“When it comes to salary negotiation, don't forget that salary is only one term of employment. What else is on the table - vacation time, benefits, bonuses, flex days? Before determining that these terms are 'must-haves' or 'giveaways' to get a bigger salary, find out what the counterpart has to offer.”

“Once you understand what a messy, emotional, and destructive dynamic 'fairness' can be, you can see why 'fair' is a tremendously powerful word that you need to use with care.”

“Whether we notice it or not, we spend our days negotiating for something: for our spouse to do more housework, a child to eat just three more bites or go to bed on time, an extended deadline on a project, a salary increase, a better rate on a vacation package.”