Chris Eigeman

“I really love showing up at work at 10 A.M., trying to make it funny until 3 P.M., and then going home. It's like comedy bankers' hours.”

“I'm not a big fan of having my loyalty called into question.”

“I genuinely don't like Los Angeles. L.A. is this little petri dish of lack of morality.”

“I never dreamed I'd be a spokesman for anything. But Pac Bell just asked me. The money was OK; the scripts were fun because I had to do in 30 seconds what it takes a whole feature to do and because the dysfunctional family of agents, managers and lawyers who represent me said it was cool.”

“My first show was 'No Exit.' You couldn't find a more pretentious beginning, but it also instilled some sense of quality.”