A biography for Charlie Brookerhasn’t been written yet.
“I've got no attention span.”
“We humans are great at creating tools with unforeseen consequences. For instance, when we invented the wheel, we had no way of knowing we were also laying the foundations for the TV show 'Top Gear.'”
“'MasterChef''s preliminary stages deliver just the right level of almost-drama for viewers feeling shagged out after a hard day's fruitless existence.”
“All Pixar movies are heartbreaking, aren't they?”
“If there's no point, then there's no point giving up.”
“I think the problem we have as apes is we're asking far bigger questions than we could possibly process.”
“Rather than setting yourself a New Year's resolution, why not simply pick a reason for hating yourself for the next 365 days? Takes less time, and it's easier to stick to.”
“I remember when I realised, as a child, 'That stuff on the TV about nuclear bombs is real! Why isn't everyone running around shouting 'Aaarrgghh'? Why are people still buying bicycle clips?'”
“I do think that it's a dysfunctional relationship between columnists and commentators, because they both seem to hate each other, like a terrible marriage.”
“Online, you play at being yourself.”
“I can't rank anything. I mean, how could anyone possibly say what their favourite piece of music is? I don't have the ability or the desire to categorise things of that nature.”
“I wanna do some more goofy comedy stuff; I really enjoyed doing 'A Touch of Cloth.'”
“Banking, as far as I can tell, seems to be almost as precise a science as using a slot machine. You either blindly hope for the best, delude yourself into thinking you've worked out a system, or open it up when no one's looking and rig the settings so it'll pay out illegally.”
“With Boris Johnson, you don't think of him as a politician, oddly. You think of him as a media personality because he's a comic character. He's basically Homer Simpson. That makes him strangely bullet-proof.”
“The majority of people are perfectly capable of interacting with retail staff without spitting on them or whipping their hides like dawdling cattle, but Planet Earth still harbours more than its fair share of disappointments.”
“In the early '80s, the arcade game Pac-Man was twice as popular as oxygen.”
“My career path is like crazy paving - it goes all over the place.”
“I'm scared about everything. I'm an anxious worrier. I worry about the downside of everything.”
“When you're being earnest, people think you're being sarcastic, and when you're being sarcastic, they think you're being earnest. The moral in all this, of course, is that people should never attempt to communicate.”
“People tend to think I'm a lot more earnest than I am.”