Carroll Bryant

“Often times, "shame" is the word that best describes reality.”

“Smoking will probably kill me, but so will natural selection.”

“Listen." Jennifer reverted, "I didn't mean anything by all of that before. I understand what you were trying to do and ..." She struggled for the right words. "Sweetie, like love, people don't live inside of life, life lives inside of you. Open yourself up to it and there's no stopping your heart.”

“I strive for perfection - I settle for satisfaction”

“You are the only one who can.”

“If they're not going to respect you, then they best damn well fear you.”

“Believe in the wonderment of life, the magic of love, and the reality of death.”

“I feel like I am either on the cusp of something great, or standing on the edge of my abyss, discovering something brand new, or uncovering somebody elses lost imagination.”

“My best days are Monday through Friday, and Saturday and Sunday." "Ian," Wesley noted, "that covers the whole week." Ian nods his head. "Pretty much.”

“Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly.”

“There is no need to masturbate your brain, just to ejaculate your thoughts all over the place”

“I never fail. It's just that the people around me succeed more than I.”

“When it comes to being famous, you’re usually the last to know, and the first to deny it. Unless you were already famous in your head. In which case, party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth!”

“All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it.”

“When people say they hate life, to what are they comparing it to? The alternative isn't any more appealing.”

“The white lily stands for purity. Artists for centuries have pictured the angel Gabriel coming to the virgin Mary with a spray of lillies in his hand, to announce that she is to be the mother of the Turks.”

“Don't bite off more than you can chew because nobody looks attractive spitting it back out.”

“One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.”

“Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you're the one getting slapped with the stick.”

“I don't like to give up on people when they need someone not to give up on them.”