Carol Burnett

“We don't stop going to school when we graduate.”

“When I left 'The Garry Moore Show,' I signed a 10-year contract with CBS.”

“I was kind of shy as a kid. I was a pretty good student. I was a wallflower, or nerd, if you will.”

“Kristin Wiig I think is brilliant.”

“Because nobody goes through life without a scar.”

“I'm hooked on Glenn Close in 'Damages.'”

“I love Maya Rudolph. She's very multitalented herself.”

“I didn't really get comfortable until I got to UCLA, and I had to take an acting course because I was studying theater arts.”

“When I was in college at UCLA, I took a playwriting course. I was all set to be a writer. But I had to take this acting class as a theater arts major. I had to do this scene in a one-act comedy. I just said this line, and then... this laugh happened. I thought, 'Whoa. This is a really good feeling. What have I been missing?'”

“Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.”

“I love the writing. I love the idea of typing and seeing it on the computer and printing it out myself and, you know, moving sentences around. I like that.”

“It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.”

“I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?”

“I very much enjoyed doing 'Law & Order,' playing a killer - that was fun, and they had a family feel around the set, so it was a happy show to do even though the subject matter was quite the opposite.”

“I am not a joke-teller. Stand-up, I couldn't do.”

“I do think there are some great female comics: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph. They're the whole ball of wax.”

“When things are a disappointment, try not to be so discouraged.”

“Ask anyone who's successful how they got there, you're going to hear a different story.”

“My favorite is doing the television show, as a variety show, every week. If the show wasn't that great one week, we could always come back and apologize, you know?”

“I love audiences.”