Brene Brown

“To me, constructive criticism is when people take ownership of their ideas. That's why I don't listen to anything that's anonymous. But it's hard; when there's something hurtful out there, I still want to read it over and over and memorize it and explain my point of view to the person.”

“Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous.”

“Anonymous comments? You're not in the arena, man. If you can't say it to me in person in front of my kids, don't say it.”

“One of the things I did when I discovered this huge importance of being vulnerable is very happily moved away from the shame research, because that's such a downer, and people hate that topic. It's not that vulnerability is the upside, but it's better than shame, I guess.”

“Ironically, parenting is a shame and judgment minefield precisely because most of us are wading through uncertainty and self-doubt when it comes to raising our children.”

“First and foremost, we need to be the adults we want our children to be. We should watch our own gossiping and anger. We should model the kindness we want to see.”

“If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people's choices. If I feel good about my body, I don't go around making fun of other people's weight or appearance. We're hard on each other because we're using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deficiency.”

“Men walk this tightrope where any sign of weakness illicits shame, and so they're afraid to make themselves vulnerable for fear of looking weak.”

“I hesitate to use a pathologizing label, but underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary.”

“I'm just going to say it: I'm pro-guilt. Guilt is good. Guilt helps us stay on track because it's about our behavior. It occurs when we compare something we've done - or failed to do - with our personal values.”

“I've learned a lot since I was a new mother. My approach to struggle and shame now is to talk to yourself like you'd talk to someone you love and reach out to tell your story.”

“Our need for certainty in an endeavor as uncertain as raising children makes explicit 'how-to-parent' strategies both seductive and dangerous.”

“We use work to numb out. We can't turn off our machines because we're afraid we're going to miss something.”

“When you stop caring what people think, you lose your capacity for connection. When you're defined by it, you lose our capacity for vulnerability.”

“In my research, I've interviewed a lot of people who never fit in, who are what you might call 'different': scientists, artists, thinkers. And if you drop down deep into their work and who they are, there is a tremendous amount of self-acceptance.”

“Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It's tough to do that when we're terrified about what people might see or think.”

“You're imperfect, and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.”

“When the people we love stop paying attention, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in.”

“To me, a leader is someone who holds her- or himself accountable for finding potential in people and processes. And so what I think is really important is sustainability.”

“I can encourage my daughter to love her body, but what really matters are the observations she makes about my relationship with my own body.”