Bobby Lee

“You gotta understand, there are two different kinds of Asians - the kind who are good at school, obey their parents, go to college - that kind of stuff. And then you have my family - me, my brother, all of my cousins - we're just wretched people.”

“I guess I am in handsome - in certain parts of the world. If I was, like, in Mongolia, living on a mountain and in my village, I could be the hottest guy. In L.A., I'm... average?”

“Shopping in Thailand is super cheap and generally high quality. Bangkok is also safe. If you see anybody wearing camouflage holding a machete, don't be scared. They sell coconuts.”

“I love Dallas, Austin and Houston. Why? Because some of the best comedians, like Bill Hicks and Sam Kinison, started their careers in Texas, and because the crowds there are comedy-educated.”

“Koreans are hilarious.”

“I like Columbus, Ohio, because it's Pleasantville for real. They have the nicest white people I have ever met, and I mean that!”

“I'm in this business, man, and I honestly don't know anything about show business at all. I don't know how it works.”

“Stand-up is the only thing I have complete control over. There's something to be said for that.”

“When 'MADtv' got cancelled, I didn't work at all - for three years.”

“I think people just think I am crazy because they see me doing stand-up, but I am generally not. I am very sad. I'm one of those guys that lights candles and listens to Rachmaninoff.”

“I think I am against stereotype. Generally, Asian guys are more quiet - they study and have a good work ethic. Generally, I have none of those things.”

“I have many favorite vacation destinations, but my favorite destination is Maui.”

“I know I can get laughs anywhere, in front of any crowd, if I'm given the chance.”

“I'm hoping that, over the years, people will come back to 'MADtv' and think it isn't that bad. We had some really talented people on there.”

“When I found stand-up, it was like finding home.”

“I never wanted to be road comic.”