Bill Hicks

“Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously.”

“I'm sorry if any of you are Catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by the fact that you're Catholic.”

“People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's that I believe he was a child of Satan sent here to destroy the planet Earth. Little to the left.”

“I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.”

“I don't do drugs anymore... than, say, the average touring funk band.”

“Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.”

“Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um – they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?”

“The idea of getting a, you know, syringe full of heroin and shooting it in the vein under my cock right now seems like almost a productive act.”

“Music is a great energizer. It's a language everybody knows.”

“I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.”

“As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.”

“The definition of black irony is Pro-lifers killing Doctors who do abortions”