Andy Weir

“How did I end up in this situation? I'm the district sales manager of a napkin factor. Why is my daughter in space?”

“I am not a brave man... I do not have the right stuff. Astronauts are really a cut above.”

“There's nothing I would like more than to watch a manned Mars landing.”

“If ruining the only religious icon I have leaves me vulnerable to Martian vampires, I'll have to risk it.”

“Thanks to our modern era, facts are incredibly easy to come by. A few web searches for your subject matter, and you have all the information you could dream of.”

“The reason space missions need artificial gravity is clear: humans simply did not evolve to live in zero gravity.”

“In other news, It’s seven sols till the harvest, and I still haven’t prepared. For starters, I need to make a hoe. Also, I need to make an outdoor shed for the potatoes. I can’t just pile them up outside. The next major storm would cause The Great Martian Potato Migration.”

“A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow. Don't wait for an inspired ending to come to mind. Work your way to the ending and see what comes up.”

“I'm so close to Schiaparelli I can taste it. I guess it would taste like sand, mostly, but that's not the point.”

“My father has a great love of science, and he indoctrinated me into it early. I think I was 12 or so when we designed a moon base.”

“I study orbital dynamics as a hobby. My idea of a good time is sitting down and drawing on that knowledge to imagine a space mission from beginning to end, getting as many details right as I can.”

“A story in your head isn't a story. It's just a daydream until you actually write it down. So write it down.”

“As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.”

“I'm calling it the Watney Triangle because after what I've been through, shit on Mars should be named after me.”

“WATNEY: Look! A pair of boobs! -> (.Y.).”

“So what’s the point of it all?”“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.”

“If you look up every last detail on your subject, you'll never finish.”

“Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be “in command” if I were the only remaining person.”What do you know? I’m in command”

“If someone offered me a free trip to the International Space Station, I would decline. I like Earth. I like the internet. I like Diet Coke. I have cats. I write about brave people - I'm not one of them.”