Andrea Portes

“Okay, listen, I don't know what dumb lines you are used to giving girls so they fall all over you but I just want you to know that I wasn't born yesterday so I am gonna go now and leave you to whatever dumb idiot girl is gonna buy that line.”

“I look like vanilla pudding so nobody knows that on the inside I am spider soup.”

“Whenever I feel like this, I am gentle with myself, pretend like I'm someone else, someone good. I walk on eggshells around myself, like I'm some fragile piece of porcelain you have to place quietly, deliberately back on the shelf.”

“We're both whisper-screaming at each other. All I can think is this is the worst possible way to break up with somebody.”