Alice Roosevelt Longworth

“I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.”

“Dorothy is the only woman in history who has had her menopause in public and made it pay.”

“He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.”

“You can't make a souffle rise twice.”

“I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.”

“If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.”

“My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.”