A. Whitney Brown

“The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.”

“A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed him because he was a lawyer.”

“Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.”

“I'm not an atheist. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.”

“I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.”

“That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.”

“Harry S. Truman had his moods. His birthplace is the only tourist attraction in America where you don't see Japanese with cameras.”

“I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out plates of money at the end.”

“I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.”

“I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants.”